Be still & know that I am God

I can't believe Kevin and I leave for Africa in 11 days!! Wow! Today is my last day of work for this semester and I'm just trying to tie up loose ends here and then getting my summer online classes ready to launch next Wednesday (can someone please remind me again why I am working this summer!?!?).  Anyway, our to-do list seems to be growing at the exact speed that time is so very quickly slipping away from us. Please pray that we get everything completed that we need to before we leave. My mom is watching Whit on Thursday so I can make a final shopping trip to get all of the clothes and supplies we'll need. In this midst of all of this chaos, we are trying to do a few fun family things before we leave and have a day-trip planned to Tweetsie and the Blowing Rock outlets this Saturday, which we're all looking forward to! On the one hand, I'm so very ready to leave for Africa because I know that it will be a life-changing experience and I'm ready for that, but on the other hand, I'm freaking out because I'm not sure how things will get done between now and then!

I came across a verse twice yesterday (sometimes God has to use repetition to get my attention when I'm rushing too fast through life!) and I'm trying to embrace it and meditate on it today. Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." Now, I know that in telling me to be still, God doesn't expect me to just drop everything and let things slack or be weak. I know that He's telling me that in the midst of this undeniably and probably unavoidable chaotic time of preparation, don't forget that we're doing all of this for His glory. He's wanting me to be still and surrender my lists, fears, and worries to Him. He's reminding me that when things fall into place perfectly and I'm feeling motivated, and get things accomplished or crossed off my list, when people respond to my emails when I need them to, or when things seem to happen exactly how I need them to, that I shouldn't take credit for that - I need to know that HE (not me) is God. It's about giving God the glory/credit and knowing that it's only through divine dependence on Him that these things are happening. It's not by the sweat of my own brow or by my superb coordinating efforts or my own intelligence that things are getting marked off my to-do list, but it's by his undeniable power and will that I'm able to accomplish anything! On the flip side, when I'm NOT motivated, getting things accomplished, when roadblocks are put in my path, or when people don't have the same sense or urgency that I do, I must remember that it's not necessarily my fault, and God's not out to ruin my day. It's more than likely an attack from Satan and a reminder that I need to redirect myself to God and keep my eyes focused on Him and rely on Him to do these things, not relying on myself.

I am trying to remember that no task is too small or big for God and that I must surrender my to-do list to Him. I must let go in order to objectively know the saving power of God in my life - even if I need Him to save my sanity over this to-do list! I must give up trusting in myself (or my family) to get these tasks completed before we leave and my own designs for how things should be done in order to experience the glory of God's all-sufficiency. And when things don't get done, or marked off my list, before we leave, I must also surrender these outcomes to God and my desire to control these outcomes and entrust Him with our care on this trip and the care of Whit while we're gone.