Playing it Safe

In general, I'm (Lori) not someone people would consider a "risk-taker". I stayed in my home state for college, married someone from my hometown, have a job where I get a steady & predictable paycheck each month, and in general my friends and I are a lot alike. I've never been bungee jumping, quit a job (or graduated from college) without having another job lined up, and I always wear sunscreen. I'm the type of person who has a Plan A, always a Plan B, and more than likely a Plan C, just in case. When I was younger I was much more of a risk-taker, but where I am in life right now, I like predictability, comfort, control, peace, and safety.

Going to Uganda has completely put me outside of my comfort zone. I struggle daily with fear and anxiety, so to me, going to a third-world country to work in an orphanage is "risky" behavior. Now, I most certainly do not mean "risky" in the sense of being reckless, without inhibition, deviant, thrill-seeking, or taking a risk simply for risk's sake. I feel that there is a purpose behind this risk-taking behavior of traveling to Africa that is much greater than Kevin or I could ever imagine. We're not just traveling for the sake of traveling to a place we've never been before, or to live dangerously on the edge, or to say we've been to Africa on a mission trip. This is much bigger than any of these things.

Yes, we feel like there is a complacency we're feeling in our lives, especially in our faith. And in a way, this trip does involve a "risk" of the pursuit of novelty, intensity, excitement, and change. It involves us stepping out of our comfort zones and taking a risk. However, we don't feel like the "risk" of going on this trip to Africa is one we're taking simply on an impulse or through reckless abandon. I also feel strongly that taking a risk in the name of Jesus is much different than taking a risk as a sensation-seeking behavior merely out of boredom. To us this risk is necessary - I'd even go so far as to say it's mandatory for our lives. The Lord is wanting us to get out of our comfort zone and to take the risk of going to Africa. We feel like if we didn't take this trip, we would be in direct disobedience to what the Lord has called us to do and would miss out on so many blessings He has for us.

The Lord doesn't need us to accomplish what He can and will do in Uganda. He has, however, invited us to be a part of His work there, we believe, to strengthen our faith, our marriage, our family, and our community. It's a worthwhile risk because it's for Him, not for us. Though it may be uncomfortable for us, our families, and others, I believe that oftentimes in those uncomfortable times we're drawn closer to the Lord because we must lean on Him for everything.

One of my good friends, and one of the people who will be traveling with us to Uganda, is reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I have this book, but haven't started it yet, and after her email, I'm definitely reading it before our trip. Here is a quote she emailed me from the book that ties in perfectly to this post: "If we allow ourselves to live recklessly for Him, the, we too, will see His glory.  We will see Him do the impossible.  Christians today like to play it safe (my own emphasis).  We want to put ourselves in situations where we are safe even if there is no God.  But if we truly desire to please God, we cannot live that way.  We have to do things that cost us during our life on earth but will be more than worth it in eternity. Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy.  Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers."

Do I sometimes feel like we're crazy for going on this trip? Sure. Do I sometimes second-guess whether or not we should be going? You bet. Will this trip "cost us during our life on earth"? Quite possibly. Will it be worth it in eternity? Without a doubt. Are we going to be talked out of going? Absolutely not.

I want to be sold out for Christ. That may sound crazy to some people, and that's fine. If the Lord wants me to take a risk and to not play it safe (by MY definition of "safe") then that's what I'll do. I believe that if we keep our eyes focused on the Lord and obey His will for our lives, it is through our faith that He keeps us safe. Surely if He kept Noah safe on the Ark, gave David the strength to defeat Goliath, and parted the Red Sea so the Isrealities could get safely to the other side, He can keep Kevin and I safe during our 10 days in Africa.

Does that mean that merely because people have faith in God that something terrible won't happen to those who believe in Him and do His work? Absolutely not. Are we prepared for those things? Not yet, but we're getting there.

Psalm 127 (from The Message):
I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains? No, my strength comes from God, who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.
 
He won't let you stumble, your Guardian God won't fall asleep. Not on your life! Israel's Guardian will never doze or sleep.
 
God's your Guardian, right at your side to protect you—Shielding you from sunstroke, sheltering you from moonstroke.

God guards you from every evil, He guards your very life. He guards you when you leave and when you return, He guards you now, He guards you always.

Dive

"The long awaited rains
Have fallen hard upon the thirsty ground
And carved their way to where
The wild and rushing river can be found
And like the rains
I have been carried here to where the river flows
My heart is racing and my knees are weak
As I walk to the edge
I know there is no turning back
Once my feet have left the ledge
And in the rush I hear a voice
That's telling me it's time to take the leap of faith
So here I go

I'm diving in I'm going deep in over my head I want to be
Caught in the rush lost in the flow in over my head I want to go
The river's deep the river's wide the river's water is alive
So sink or swim I'm diving in

There is a supernatural power
In this mighty river's flow
It can bring the dead to life
And it can fill an empty soul
And give a heart the only thing
Worth living and worth dying for
But we will never know the awesome power
Of the grace of God
Until we let ourselves get swept away
Into this Holy flood
So if you'll take my hand
We'll close our eyes and count to three
And take the leap of faith
Come on let's go"

--- Steven Curtis Chapman, "Dive"

Ever felt like a song you've heard hundreds of times all of a sudden has new meaning? Like maybe you're hearing the same song but just in a whole new way?

Countdown: 6 months from today

WOW - Uganda is just 6 months away from today! It's hard to imagine what we'll be doing at this moment 6 months from now. May 22 will be a travel day, so we'll be spending lots of time on airplanes and in airports. There's lots of logistical things we have to take care of before we leave (vaccines, updating wills/life insurance, figure out Whit's schedule, pack, etc.) and there's also lots of spiritual preparation to be done as well.

To commemorate today, we are sending out our first round of sponsorship letters to family and friends. We're sending out about 90 letters today and then will send about another 100 after the first of the year. We've already raised $145, but still have about $5855 to raise, which is a daunting number, but I'm just not going to let myself panic about the fundraising and cost of the trip. God called us on this trip so we must trust in Him to provide the resources.

We plan to have a huge yard sale in the spring and we've registered with Just Love Coffee www.justlovecoffee.com/ourtriptouganda and have sent an email out to folks about how they can buy coffee and support our trip.

6 months and counting......The countdown has officially begun!

Making the Decision to go to Uganda: Lori's Story

To me, this is where the story gets really fun! Let me first give you some back story and then I'll lead you to the day that I decided I was going to Uganda. For about a year or more, I've been talking with my friend, Sarah Ledford, about the trips she had taken and was planning to take to Uganda. I actually prayerfully considered going with her team in September 2009. I REALLY wanted to go, and I really thought I was supposed to go on that trip. Things were falling nicely into place with work, childcare, finances, etc. God had other plans for me, however, and I kept feeling like He was telling me, "Yes, but not now," meaning for me that, yes he wants me to go on mission, but not on this trip. I questioned for a while whether He was calling me to go somewhere else, work with another population instead of orphans, etc. I kept praying about it and kept talking with Sarah about the trips and the amazing things God was doing through the teams in Uganda.

A month or so after the team got back from the trip I thought I would be on in Sept. 09, they did a talk at Bethel United Methodist Church in Winston-Salem. This was on Sunday, November 8. Sarah called me at the last minute to tell me they were doing the talk at 5:00pm. I actually had Bunco with a group of ladies that night, but it didn't start until 6:00pm so I figured I would go hear the team talk and then head on over to Bunco. Little did I know that God had a different plan for my evening!

Overwhelmed is not a strong enough word for what I felt while the team was talking, showing pictures, telling stories, and sharing how God is at work in Uganda. I remember feeling like I was in a time warp...like there was nothing else going on in the world at that moment except for the stories of these orphans in Uganda. At the end of their talk, David, the pastor at Bethel UMC and one of the Uganda trip team members, said something very poignant that still resonates with me today. He said (and I'm paraphrasing), "If your life isn't dramatically different from before you accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior to after, then we need to talk." My life hadn't been that different at all and at that moment the proverbial Holy 2-by-4 hit me square between the eyes. The team finished up around 7:30 and I immediately left the church. Not so I could catch the tail-end of Bunco, but because I was sure I would burst into tears at any moment. In fact, Sarah later told me that she looked at me when I was telling her goodbye and she said that I looked "burdened."

I got in the car and drove no further than to the end of the parking lot and I was crying. I'm not talking about just a few tears, I'm talking full-on, 100% SOBBING. I was overcome with emotions about the stories I had heard, the pictures, about the evidence of Good and Evil, and then what David said just kept ringing in my ears. I honestly cannot remember a time where I fully surrendered myself to my emotions as much as I did that night.

Mind you, I was DRIVING at this time. It's only by the Grace of God that I didn't kill myself or someone else in the midst of having this breakdown. In my car I was crying out to God, praying out loud, and literally yelling to Him, "I want to experience YOU like that...I want my life to be different and to have a drastic life-changing event like these people experienced...I want You to work in me like You did with them...why can't I have this?" I was literally screaming at the top of my lungs with tears streaming down my face.

At that moment, a very soft, kind, gentle, calm thought blanketed me and literally calmed my soul in the blink of an eye. Deep in my heart I heard a voice that simply said, "I've given this gift to you; all you have to do is receive it." This was the first time I can say that I've unmistakably heard the voice of God.

The same weekend as the talk on Sunday, I had attended the Women of Faith Conference in Greensboro on the Friday and Saturday prior (on a random side note, Mandisa and Steven Curtis Chapman were awesome!!). One of my favorite Christian parenting authors, Lisa Whelchel (you may remember her as "Blair" on the television show, Facts of Life), explained what it has been like in her life when she's undeniably heard the voice of God. She said it sounds like her own voice, but she knows it's not her own voice because it's much calmer and wiser, and usually she's not feeling the least bit calm or wise when she hears it. Her description is exactly what I felt on the car ride home that night. I didn't hear some booming voice opening up from the heavens, no angel visited me, and I did not see a burning bush, but what I did hear was a quiet voice in my soul, almost a whisper, among the tears, hysteria, and chaos that I was feeling at the time. This voice was so peaceful, wise, and clear as a bell.

Nothing I had ever heard either with my ears or within my mind was as clear as this, and I felt like no greater command had ever been placed in my life for that moment in time. I decided right then and there that it was no coincidence that I was at that church on that night to hear about that trip from those people. I also decided that God had placed me there "for a time such as this" (Esther 4:14) so that He could make it clear to me the gift He had given me.

With tears in my eyes, I got home just in time to give my sweet little boy,Whit, a goodnight kiss. Kevin could see that I had been crying, but I assured him as I walked into the door that these were "good tears" because I could see the look of panic on his face! After Whit was asleep, we sat down on the couch and I told him everything about my evening. Every story I could remember, every word that I could remember, every picture I had seen, and then of course everything about the car ride home. I was nervous as I told him that I really thought I was supposed to go on the next trip to Uganda with the team in May 2010 because I was unsure of what his reaction would be. He was supportive several months before when I thought I would go in September, but I wasn't sure if he still felt that way. I was also nervous about whether or not he would think I had made a rash decision without thinking things through (or talking with him), but I was so excited when he said he too thought I should go.

It's been 12 days now since I decided that I'm going on the trip, and it's been some of the best 12 days of my life. I'm anxious to leave tomorrow, but know that God timed this out to give Him 6 months to prepare me to go. Of course Satan's already been hard at work on me, making me question what "role" I will have on the trip, whether I'm spiritually mature enough to witness to others or to be a part of the team (that's one of the things that impressed me about the people on the September trip), and of course worries about how we're going to pay for the trip, which will likely cost about $3k per person.

I keep reading 1 Corinthians 2:15 (this version is from the Message): "You'll remember, friends, that when I first came to you to let you in on God's master stroke, I didn't try to impress you with polished speeches and the latest philosophy. I deliberately kept it plain and simple: first Jesus and who he is; then Jesus and what he did—Jesus crucified.  I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate—I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it—and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else. But the Message came through anyway. God's Spirit and God's power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God's power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else."

As a public speaking instructor, this passage speaks to me on so many different levels. My prayer is that God will work on my feeling of inadequacy and that while I'm in Uganda the Message will come through anyway, even though I'm certain I'll be nervous, feeling like I'm not spiritually mature enough to be witnessing to others, and sure that nothing I'm saying will impress or convince anyone of anything.

This is one of the largest leaps of faith I've ever taken in my life. I can't wait for you to hear how Kevin decided to jump with me!

Orphan Sunday (Nov. 15) @ Calvary Baptist

We've been visiting Calvary West since August when we left the church we had been attending for 4 years. This past Sunday was Orphan Sunday and Matt Capps, Associate Pastor at Calvary West, has an awesome post with the video that was shown along with a reflection about what this means for us as Christians. You can read his post here.

In the Beginning...the start of our journey to Join Him There

Henry Blackaby in his book - Experiencing God - coined a simple but challenging phrase:

"Find out where God is at work and join Him there"

Kevin and I have recently decided to go on a short-term mission trip to Uganda, Africa in May 2010. We believe God is hard at work in a village outside of Kampala, Uganda called Bweya Village and we want to join Him there. God has been working in our lives in so many ways and He has now opened the door for us to be a part of a team that is traveling to Uganda with an organization called "ekissa" (the Lugandan word for "mercy"). This organization was started by our good friend, Sarah Ledford.

Even though we don't physically leave for our trip for several more months, I feel like our "trip" has already begun. In our minds simply making the decision to go 8000 miles away from our 2 year old and the comfort of our own home for 10 days to go minister to orphans and residents in Uganda was the "official" start of our trip. We are already beginning to prepare for this trip with regards to vaccines, passports, childcare, finances, Ugandan culture, and of course preparing ourselves spiritually and mentally. During this trip, we will be engaged in ministry to the children and caregivers of Mercy Orphanage, Bethany Children's Home, and the residents of Bweya Village.

Before you think we've totally "flipped our lids" (I just love that Southern saying!), there are lots of questions we've had to answer for and within ourselves that you may also be wondering about, so we thought we'd take this first post to answer them here...

Where in the world is Uganda?

Uganda is a landlocked country in eastern Africa, bordered on the east by Kenya, on the north by Sudan, on the west by the Democratic Republic of Congo, on the southwest by Rwanda, and on the south by Tanzania. The southern portion of the country includes a substantial portion of Lake Victoria. The guest house we will be staying in is beside Lake Victoria.

What do you know about Uganda?

Ummm, not much......yet. In fact, before we considered this trip neither of us could probably point it out on a map of Africa! Our friend, Sarah Ledford, has been to Uganda several times and will be our team leader on the trip. As she has traveled, I've kept up with her stories and learned more about the people and culture of Uganda, as well as what the teams have been accomplishing during the trips. Our research has told us some very interesting, disturbing, and exciting things about the country and its residents. Uganda is about the size of the state of Oregon with a population of 27.3 million, yet has 10% of the world's population of orphans. It is in the top 25% of the poorest nations in the world with 50% of the population under the age of 15.  Ugandans on average make $1.50 per day. Life expectancy is 51 years old. 320 children die in Uganda every day from Malaria and the cost of treatment is just $8. Most Ugandans get Malaria 6 times per year. Treated mosquito nets have proven to reduce the risk of contracting Malaria by 65%, a reduction from 6 cases per person to 2 cases per year. One net is effective for 5 years and costs less than $10. There are 49 deaths each day due to HIV/AIDS as well as a high percentage of breast cancer with only 5 mammogram machines in the whole country. 66% of the 27.3 million in population claim Christianity with 16% Muslim and 18% Indigenous. Around 40 different languages are regularly and currently in use, with English being the official language. You are also likely to hear Luganda and Swahili. Football (what we call soccer) is the most popular sport in Uganda.

Learning these things also helped us to realize that while there's a desperate need in our own town/country/state/nation, even the poorest we could imagine here in America would be considered wealthy in Uganda. While the community service Kevin and I are both a part of now is invaluable, immersing ourselves fully into a culture so completely different from what we've ever seen or are used to will be an experience that cannot be compared to anything we've ever done in our lives.

Why (in the Heck) are you going 8000 miles away from Whit for 10 days?

We firmly believe that "we need Africa more than Africa needs us". What this means to us is that while we may hear Africa and think of poverty, orphans, HIV/AIDS, starvation, tribes, etc., we also tend to think, "how can I help" or "how can I make a difference?" While in reality, Africans can actually be the ones to help us. We have heard and seen pictures of how Africans are just filled with joy. While we may look at them and think, "what in the world could you possibly have to rejoice about in those conditions or situations", they've got joy from somewhere we cannot envision here in America in the midst all of our "stuff." In places and circumstances where we would normally think that despair should thrive, instead, the people of Africa decide to choose joy. They put new meanings to the words "faith" and "grace" in the (forced) simplicity of their everyday lives. Of course Africa is in desperate need of our resources, prayers, and efforts - but at the same time, we (Kevin and I) also proportionately and exceedingly need Africa. We need to be reminded that possessions do not equate to happiness or fulfillment. We need to be reminded of the simplicity of life, of God's grace and mercy, and of his faithfulness in the midst of despair and hopelessness. Africa has so much to teach us. So while we are bringing invaluable resources to them during our trip, consequently in exchange we will also be gaining so much for our lives. Many instrumental things that will unquestionably affect our marriage, our family, our community, our church, our faith. So that's why we're traveling 8000 miles away from our precious 2 year old son and the comfort of our own home and lives for 10 days to go to Uganda. In the end we realize that 10 days go by very quickly but we know that those 10 days will change our lives. We desperately want so much more out of our lives than professional careers and a middle class lifestyle. We have become complacent in our faith and are ready to shake things up within our souls -- if it takes a trip to Africa to do that, then sign us up! In a nutshell, we hope to go to Africa to humbly help expand God's Kingdom in whatever way(s) He can use us in order to make an impact on the lives of the Ugandans we meet as well as on our own lives for eternity.

You may be wondering, well, how did you know you were supposed to go on a mission trip, and to Uganda? The "canned" response is, we just wholeheartedly, 100%, without a doubt know this is what we're supposed to be doing. However, we both know that saying that doesn't minister much to others or give them a glimpse into what God can do or how to obey Him, so we're individually working on our responses to that question and will get back to you in a future blog. Until then, stay tuned and enjoy the "trip" with us to Uganda - before, during, and after.

James 1:27: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."